(After looking at this closely, I’m scared) Sure you have your costume ready, you have the party to go to, or a place where you’ll be drinking your face off. If you’re a parent, you’ll be dressing up just to hand out candy to all the little loud neighborhood bastard kids… (Thanks for nothing Sacha […]

The Dr. Smith “pedophile over-acting” character from Lost In Space? (Hanging in the Macy’s boys changing rooms) Ohhhh, you so know he was into boys. Always hanging around with young Will Smith and a talking robot. He had no interest in Penny or Judy, and would lie around with arm over his forehead lamenting “Oh […]

then hung up because he ran out of minutes… (Two guns are twice as shooty) The thing I really like about Chuck Norris is that he has been both an action hero for white trash America AND the butt of every other joke today…that’s range… He’s like the shorter, in better shape, bearded version of […]

Till the election. Finally! No more “you betcha”, “my friends”, “now look John”, “Joe the Plumber”, “Mavrick, mavrick, mavrick”, “Silly season”, “I can see Russia from Alaska”, “Media filter”, hair plugs, capped teeth smiles, crazy asshats shouting shit at rallies, morons holding signs, and buttons. I’m so fu*king stick of buttons! (This would look great […]

Guess who this boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween is… (What’s a pirates favorite movie? Anything rated “Arrrrrrr”) Is he… A) Democratic Presidential nominee Barrack Obama B) The current host at the Jackson Hole Wyoming Long John Silvers C) The kid who kicked over my pumpkins, and burnt “Fart face” in my lawn last […]

Bam! Click Me It’s rocktacular satire! I just had a comedy orgasim…luckily I was wearing protection…unlike Bristol’s guy! My Liver Is Broken No, for true… (I left it someplace in this bar) Wow, it’s too much work parting this hard! I could never become an alcoholic…I’m far too lazy… Big shout to to my two […]

Awesome idea for someone who’s trying to appeal to the Target/Wal-Mart crowd to go and spend $150,000 on clothes for her entire family on the campaign at Needless Mark-up and Sux 5th Avenue… (Truer words were never spoken) Opie Rocks It! Click Me Thanks, I needed that! Oh yeah, and fuck Elizabeth Hasselbeck. She’s a […]

Simpsonized! (I look drunk!) McShame & Failin Are Playing Defense, Obama Is On Offense Obama just found out he’s ahead by 10 points in Indiana from a University of Wisconsin poll. Holy balls! Indiana hasn’t been a blue state since 1964. McCain is in Florida trying to hold on. Obama is turning red to blue […]

FUCKING NUTS! (They are evil super villains) You heard me. Obama is not some saint, savior, or messiah. He can’t part water, but you’d think he could by the way they attack his character when you can’t run on economic issues. It’s stupid, isn’t working, and will ultimately lead to he and Biden getting elected […]

(If you got to pee, I suggest “get up”) Socialists, and terrorists, and Anti-Americans oh my! What planet is this? The Sarah Palin’s, Michelle Bachmann’s, Rush Limbaugh’s, and Sean Hannity’s of the world can all collectively go fuck themselves. The notion that smaller towns are “more American” and others are “anti-American” is obscene. It’s pure […]