(Use one of his old episodes) You sit down to shit. You start, and have that look of joyful release bliss on your face…which quickly turns to panic when you discover you have no toilet paper… No problem, use your hands! Naw, that won’t work, you have a meeting where you’ll have to shake hands […]

It’s a Sabotage! (Where’s their “old timey” WWII helmets & goggles?) I miss Choose You Own Adventure books! If you were like me, when confronted with a tough choice, you skipped ahead because the one’s you died in were only one page and had “The End” in big bold letters on the bottom. It was […]

It’s Taco Hell’s Volcano Taco! (You’ll pay ridding the porcelain bus) Taco Smell finally found the answer to the ever burning question of “What food could I eat that’s both face melting spicy hot, and can shred your sphincter like a wood chipper? At this point lava, tree bark, and excessive facial trauma should be […]

(They made two seasons of this crap?) They’d like a job… Actually Brian Keith is dead so only Daniel Hugh Kelly would. He’ll even show up at your kids party dressed as McCormick for a fee. Instead of coming in his cool red car from the show, it’ll be a yellow cab. Then he’ll explain […]