Four of the past seven governors have been arrested and removed from office…

Shit, that’s got to be a record…

We’re more corrupt here than all the beat cops in Serpico…

(He looks nauseous. Try Dramamine)

What’s the difference between Rod Blagojevich and E-Bay? E-Bay wasn’t arrested…

He does have a new website. It’s called Rodslist.com…

Fox is bringing back “Let’s Make A Deal” with Rod as the host…from prison…

Breaking news! Rod will be auctioning off his b-hole to the highest bidder. Since ownership is 9/10th of the law, his cell mate Big Biscuit might nix the deal…

Enjoy the ride, Rod!

Serious Help People

My good friend Brian, has a neighbor who has diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma. For us non-doctors that’s an inoperable brain tumor located on the brain stem. His name is Lucas and he’s 12. This summer he was a vibrant kid, an outstanding soccer player, brimming with life. Then one day he complained of double vision. They took him in and discovered the tumor…

(It’s true)

First off, everyone knows how I feel about cancer. Fuck it. No, seriously, fuck you cancer! It’s taken two of my family members, and many others. Everyone, and I mean everyone has a friend, relative, or someone close that cancer has affected. I don’t do “plea’s” or beg for stuff here, but this is serious. Lucas’s mom is Kathleen and she wrote more in a note:

“But we have found a reason to have hope for Lucas and every child like him. Dr. John Yu, a leading researcher at the world renowned Cedars-Sinai Medical Center in Los Angeles, is working to develop a vaccine to attack cancer in a new way—by attacking the stem cells that are the source of the cancer. Dr. Yu is working in conjunction with the esteemed Dr. Keith Black at the Maxine Dunitz Neurosurgical Institute at Cedars-Sinai. Dr. Yu and his team are willing to try to develop a vaccine specifically for Lucas. No child has received it thus far, Lucas would be the first. No one can say whether this will be the silver bullet, but with Lucas as a pioneer, this effort has the potential to yield a breakthrough for all cancer patients.

But we are in a desperate race against time. Many children who are diagnosed with diffuse intrinsic pontine glioma do not live to see another birthday. We want to give all of those children—and Lucas– a chance at life. That is why I am turning to you for help. This cutting edge research can’t go forward without funding. Will you please send a tax deductible donation to help develop the vaccine in time for Lucas? We need to raise $250,000 dollars by December 31st. I know times are very hard, but any amount you can give would be deeply appreciated. Your tax deductible donation might save a child’s life.”

Donation information:

PART I: CHECK
Cedars-Sinai Medical Center is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization and your gift is tax deductible. To make a donation, please make your check payable to
Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. In the check notation please indicate:
“In honor of Lucas Goldbaum.”

MAIL TO: KC Miller
Cedars-Sinai Medical Center
8700 Beverly Blvd, Suite 2416
Los Angeles, CA 90048

Please Note: For your records – a copy of the Cedar Sinai’s 501(c)(3) is at the back end of this note.

PART II: Wire Transfer of Money: Rather than submitting contribution by check or credit card a donor may prefer to make their contribution via wire transfer directly to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center’s bank. Instructions follow.

Any Questions: Contact Jen Simpson : Cell 202 569 -9180 Email:jenlsimpson@yahoo.com

I know times are very hard right now. We all feel it. But I’m going to donate proceeds from my next show to him. It’s not much, but any amount helps people…

Thanks for listening. Now back to yucks!

Groovy Bitch!

The Cool Candy’s called…

(Spot “helmet hair”)

They’re still stuck in Wichita Kansas from a Howard Johnson’s gig in 77…

Go have a day!