It was free with any fill-up or purchase of beef jerky… (Insert Cloud 69 joke here) The moment you insert this into any DVD player, sexual innuendo and wacky high jinx instantly ensue. I have a feeling watching this might be like being stabbed in the face with a rusty screwdriver… Oh yeah, and if […]

Guess he just had a gay attack then… (Insert wenis in hands) You might have heard of these. They’re common in religious leaders with 6 figure salaries. I guess they’re like panic attacks, or anxiety attacks, or three hour rendezvous at the Knights Inn having ass sex with a dude… Most people call that gay, […]

You see a man walking on the street in winter… They slip on the ice and fall, and you and your friends laugh… Now they get up, pull a gun, and start shooting at you? Well, it happened… (You laughed at his wives cankels) A man fired six shots in all as the group of […]

He’s an actual hairstyle now… (Baby piss yellow) The walking, talking circus that is Roddy B just keep getting better. He’s the car crash you can’t look away from, has the same PR firm as Drew “Me likey to kill wives” Peterson, and can’t count to 4 without crying… He said, “If you do an […]

The economy is terrible, we’re at war in two theaters, and people are loosing their jobs; but the biggest issue we will face as a nation is Chipmunks getting high… (Know your dealer) Woodland critters don’t have to be drug free, it’s not like Mother Nature does extensive drug testing. It does bother me if […]

So that happened… A high school girls basketball team in Texas lost 100-0. Zero. Nadda. Zip. Donut… Dallas Academy is a school containing only 20 students with learning problems from ADHD, to dyslexia. They have a total of 8 girls on the basketball team. The game took place Jan. 13, on the road, against Covenant […]

Went out last night for my birthday… Sorry awesome party people, but this is all you get today. It is what it is… (Hey, it’s true) While walking around I found out that kids will suddenly burst into a full blown run while giggling without looking around, then ram right into you. Then they’ll look […]

What the f-troop?!?! No Gran Torino? No Bruce Springsteen for song? Only eight nods for The Dark Knight? (Remember Gollum getting snubbed?) This sucks balls! MILK nods made me happy as did Slumdog Millionaire. I do like new stuff, but just because it’s new doesn’t instantly make it great. Then again, I don’t watch movies […]

The king of breakfast is still cereal… Say you want to shred your mouth ruining it for the entire day of eating… Welp, nothing does a better job than original Cap’n Crunch… (Beats metal shavings) Why hyphenate Captain? Was it to long? Do fictitious nautical leaders always do it? Maybe less letters means cheaper to […]

Sounds like a new Blink 182 song… Now the big question: Separated at birth? (Captain happy) (Black and White version) He left early, but it didn’t come as a shock to anyone. After all, his name is Dick… Toyota Beats General Motors In Steel Cage Match “Two cars enter, one car leaves”… (Fight, fight, fight!) […]