And just when you thought shit couldn’t get stranger…

A woman in Fort Pierce, Fla., called 911 three times to report an emergency. Things were very serious, and she was in danger. McDonald’s had run out of McNuggets…

(What if they ran out of salt?)

According to police after they told Goodman the incident was not an emergency, Goodman replied, “This is an emergency. If I would have known they didn’t have McNuggets, I wouldn’t have given my money, and now she wants to give me a McDouble, but I don’t want one! This is an emergency.”

In McDonald’s “food poker” a McDouble beats a 10 piece McNuggets…

Just ask these lovely ladies…

(Eyes…being…raped)

If I were the cop responding, I’d of drawn my weapon, shot her in the foot, then said, “There, now it’s an emergency”. Then again, maybe that’s why I’m not a cop…

Luckily we have a transcript of the first 911 call she made…

911: “Hello this is 911 what is your emergency?”
Latreasa: “It can’t be, dear lord it can’t BE!”
911: “Calm down maam, what can’t be? What is going on? What’s wrong?”
Latreasa: “First they take my money, now they don’t have anymore! *inaudible*
911: “Maam, I need you too remain calm. WHO took your money?”
Latreasa: “McDonald’s did, McDonald’s did…and now…and now…NOTHING!”
911: “The fast food restaurant?”
Latreasa: “YES! Please help get the rest of my McNuggets and shit…PLEASE!”
911: “Wait a second. They didn’t get you your full order?”
Latreasa: “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….” *crying*
911: “Did they offer you a McDouble?”
Latreasa: YESSSSSSSS…but…I…don’t…want it” *crying louder*
911: “Understood, this is very serious. We have cars on the way!”

Buttons on a phone mean things. When a tiger’s mauling a kid at the zoo, Directory Assistance can’t really help. Sure they could give me the number to 911, but I should probably already know it…

$20 says she’d call 911 if she lost in Monopoly…

McGruff Punched!

Metro bus driver Shawn Brim, 38, climbed off a bus, adjusted his side view mirrors and then punched officer Tyrone Hardy, who was handing fliers to children on a Washington street while dressed as the crime dog. Police said children who witnessed the stunt were horrified…

(His ride gets McGruff serious tail)

After the punch, Brim got back on the bus and drove away…

He was quickly pulled over Saturday…

Why’d he do it? Brim told a supervisor he “was trying to be funny” when he punched McGruff. It’s funny? Maybe in a Will Ferrel flick, but not in real life. He must think hitting old people with his car is a riot, and firebombing a house is hysterical…

I want to go his house, punch his wife/girlfriend in the face and then watch his reaction. When he shouts, “What the fu$k dude?!”. I’ll quickly say, “Damn, I thought if anyone would appreciate the gut busting comedy of this situation, you would!”…

Have a day!