Finally! How many times have women walked into a respectable hair salon and asked, “Could I have a hairdo where it looks like a violin is sitting on my head?” and never got it? The answer is, far too damn many! Well fret no more my freaks… (Her hair is 3rd chair in the CSO) […]

That Grey Goose Vodka isn’t gray? Unless it’s coming back up… (It floats in the sky?) Speaking of weird things. There’s a wine called Boone’s Farm. It has a twist top, & has the words in big letters “SERVE VERY COLD” on the freaking label… (Under “Flavored Malt Beverage”) AKA “This Wine Is Cheaper Then […]

A Mallard duck named Jason Comwell III was on lake Lucille in Anchorage Alaska during Palin’s resignation press conference listening to a little before flying away… (Swimming makes me tired) Some hunters noticed the full sky and came out. Luckily we caught up with him after he landed on the ground deciding it’s the safer […]

Who cares? Palin quitting her job as the governor of Alaska means Fox And Friends have a new co-host in the mornings with the IQ of the full baby’s diaper… (Saraquitta) She did this on 4th of July Weekend. Nice touch…was Memorial Day taken? This smells like two reasons. One, get her out of political […]

Listen up fireworkers… (Um, interesting title) Don’t light fireworks with super short wicks. Save those for a jerky brother, or someone you really really hate. Short wick + low light = missing fingers… (Kaboom!) I should know, it took me 7 minutes to type this… Rowe Needs Her Blanket Alright lady, don’t you think the […]

Finding out Kevin Jonas is now engaged must be like learning you have a new 103lb growth that takes your money, your pride, & your soul. It usually ends with you painting shit you never wanted too, doing dishes, or going to Loehmann’s on a Saturday during football season when your favorite team is playing… […]

Adunedodo danana, adunnnedo dannaaaaannnnaaannnaaa… You know, from the intro song from Sanford & Son… (It’s a list of chicks I banged!) Turns out ol’ Mark had more encounters with Argentina than he previously told us. Also turns out he had sex with everyone’s girlfriend at some point… His penis has spent more time out of […]