That you’ll ever something something. Sorry, I’m not good at remembering songs…

However, what if you were a condo owner in Florida for a 32 story luxury condo…

But were the only one living in the building?

(Hello…hello…hello)

The Vangelako’s, a New Jersey family of five bought the condo four years ago during the housing boom, & the father Victor claimed, “This was going to be it for us here”, but are now the only people actually living the huge empty condo.

They don’t have a single neighbor and since all the children have had updated “cootie shots” they don’t really have an explanation…

(I’m fucking board and lonely)

Sure the kids miss having other “people” around…

Try playing “spin the bottle” only with your family…

*Cue banjo*

The upside is you have free range from everything from the pool, to the game room, fast elevators, and all the vending machines. No lines. The bad part, if you break into the machines for free food, spit off the balcony, or have a loud party…

(Get used to crap TV kids)

The local cops don’t need suspects, since it can only be you…

Pretentious Poster Part I…

Oh, I didn’t see you standing there reading my awesomeness…

Why? Because I don’t pay attention to petty mortals. My name is Clive Duncan, and I view giving any attention to others as wasting valuable “Clive time”…

(I’m better than you, just because)

Sometimes when you’re the best at everything you do, it’s makes others look five times as sucky. Wait, it’s actually thirty times, but I tire of counting for “less thans”.

It’s their problem, right? Besides having handsome heavenly hair, I own a triple-decker Ferrari that can break the sound barrier…I call it Clive Jr…

(I own & fly the plane too, naturally)

My penis has it’s own trophy case. Did you know they have a monthly festival dedicated to me called “Clive Fest” which I never attend? I don’t like “fests”.

They’re stank ass and beneath me…

I’m so pretentious, I bought a pretentious director, who follows me around, making me look insanely more pretentious by comparison at any given moment…

(I’m sorry, you bellowed?)

I’d end this with something clever, or funny, but you’re simply not worth my genius…

Have a day!