It took lisping, lumbering Barney Frank to just call it like he sees it… Someone finally tells the screaming kid banging pots and pans running around the kitchen to sit down, ask a rational question pertaining to healthcare, or kindly STFU… (Future artists, that’s all) Frank Talk I might not have called a constituent “not […]

Brings an AR-15 rifle to a presidential townhall in Arizona? (Nice signs? They make those?) Someone about as stable as the one legged coffee table I built in shop class… I get it. Seriously, 2nd amendment rights and all. It makes sense, and I support you. Besides, Arizona is an “open carry” state which means […]

Broken record anyone? Jeeeeeeeeesh… (Sebelius notices Obama’s alien tail) We need it. It’s coming. Yet we have people screaming in the streets who don’t even know what they’re yelling about. We have this speaking in townhalls… (Old white people yelling!) Seems like a genuinely nice woman… Who couldn’t find her ass in the dark with […]

Had lunch the other day at Panera Bread… (“What the fuck does my medal mean?”) He had the Frontega chicken, and I had the chopped cob salad… He was oddly despondent about the upcoming G.I Joe:The Rise Of Cobra film, since he will not be making an appearance in it, and will only contain real […]

Look, I like your Salty Lakes. I also like your gambling… (Great film) *John lights a cigarette, then picks up a glass of scotch* But you fucking people need to lighten up. Seriously. You can’t swear, drink, smoke, or remotely do anything fun. Shit sakes, nuns have more fun than you guys… I get that […]

It sort of sounds like aluminum siding for the Death Star… (Flip This Weaponized Planet) People who think the president of the United States would actually have them in a heathcare bill also think the Transformer movies were documentaries… If they did have “Deal Panels” Fox would buy the rights and call it “Celebrity Death […]

Attempts joke… (True) Wait, who’s Dane Cook again? Isn’t he the host of Celebrity Shit Eaters on Fox? Wasn’t he also in The Untalented Mr. Cook? People throw around the term “comedian” pretty damn loosely now-a-days. In order to be a comedian you had to have done hundreds of thousands of shows, played thousands of […]

First it was a fractured elbow off the top rope to defeat the Iron Sheik… (Sheik needs more oil) Then it was Korea calling her names… (“A tall black guy’s behind me isn’t he?”) Now it’s the Congo, to invest into poor people’s sense of shame and mud homes… After a quick debate with Angolan […]

Goes for $1 million dollars… (Wow, that ruined it) The only purchaser dumb enough to pay that price must be…Sarah Palin…. (Your name on it sorta ruined it) She said, “Well golly, I just figured I should spend some of my book money on something sorta valuable you know, and nuthin’s more valuable than me!”… […]

Shove it asshole! (Guy to side: “I love you Johnny”) Did we really expect better from him? Nope… He reminds me of modern fringe nuts on the far far right today… Have a day!