He passed away from a heart attack while walking. He was 59… Sorry nothing funny to say. Just a really shitty day… (Quite a cool cat!) You must have a favorite of his from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, to The Breakfast Club, to Mr. Mom, to Vacation, to Weird Science, to Sixteen Candles, to Uncle […]

During Farrah Fawcett’s funeral… (Classy move fuck face) Holy shit! WTF! Let that sink in for a moment… Captain Assclown said, “I had just put the casket in the hearse and I was watching it drive away when a beautiful blonde woman comes up and embraces me, I said to her, ‘You have a drink […]

Then has sex with them! Bill wishes…but seriously, he really tried super hard to bone them both… (Laura Ling does slam poetry) North Korean leader Kim Jong Il issued a “special pardon” freeing two jailed American journalists after talks with former U.S. President Bill Clinton… (Hump me eyes) Then he took off his shirt, flexed, […]

Loud mouthed, conservative schlock jock Rush Limbaugh dropped 90 pounds… (I drink your milkshake! Not anymore) Supposedly by “passing” pandering pundit Michelle Malkin… (If that’s fat, I’m fucked) You know he’ll gain it back because eating Malkin is like Chinese food… You’re hungry 20 minutes later. But the real question is how’d he do it? […]

That you’ll ever something something. Sorry, I’m not good at remembering songs… However, what if you were a condo owner in Florida for a 32 story luxury condo… But were the only one living in the building? (Hello…hello…hello) The Vangelako’s, a New Jersey family of five bought the condo four years ago during the housing […]

During an important rematch this weekend, super star Olympic swimmer Phelps… Totally crapped in the pool while breaking the world record in the 100 butterfly… (Proud of squeezing one out) He said, “It’s better, then all the gold medal’s in the world. I feel 2.3 lbs lighter!”… He went on to say, “The good thing […]