Bong! (Hold the “start” button) It was just a matter of time before the two greatest thing on the planet were combined. No, I’m not talking about easy spread chesse and pretzels to make Combos snacks, or bright lights in the desert and gambling to make Las Vegas, or yummy chocolate and peanut butter to […]

“Balloon Boy’s” dad, Captain Farthole, did the entire thing as a stunt… (Wait, lying about a kid is wrong?) To promote his new Reality TV show called “Felony Dad”… Other working titles were “Bullshit Stories”, “Pants On Fire, and “Prison Bitch” (Daddy’s somebody’s “Bitch” now) Expect authorities to bring felony charges against Heene as investigators […]

Beloved pro-wrestling figure died at his home Wednesday morning. He was 76… (“I was also a Proctologist”) Best known to the ’80s mainstream as the man who played Cyndi Lauper’s dad in the video for “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun,” Albano was instantly recognizable for his unkempt beard, rubber-band accessories, garish outfits and boisterous personality […]

You’ve all heard of the 6-year-old boy who was thought to be in a helium balloon that floated away yesterday. It was found, without him inside, and they showed footage of a box falling. People assumed the boy either fell, or jumped out. They scoured the entire area path of the balloon… (A giants “used” […]

Pig face has been sacked by the the group looking to buy the Rams… (I hate myself) The group’s leader, St. Louis Blues’ chairman Dave Checketts, said in a statement Wednesday that Limbaugh’s participation “has become a complication and a distraction to our intentions”. The group will move forward without him. *Buzz* Thanks for playing […]

Suspended 1st grader Zachary Christie who was punished under a zero tolerance rule for bringing his cub scout fork/spoon/knife to school got a pass… (Dapper fella who’s slicker than pig shit!) Finally common sense rules… Holy crap, that means people will start using their heads for more than a door stop. Like when you’re speeding […]

Beat several children in the audience half to death…then KO’ed Oprah… (Tissue, stat!) He’s a train wreck. Everyone loves an accident. This entire life is a series of huge accidents, the latest one is always worse than the last. I don’t know how the drama stays fresh for this guy, did he hire all the […]

It’s Columbus day, parades ahoy! If you want to celebrate the spirit of Christopher Columbus, go discover another continent with people already inhabiting it, then claim it as your own by force while allowing them to still live there… (He gave us Ho-Chunk Casino’s) Already have that with Iraq. But we’ll hand it back to […]

The Far Right did say Was so grossly undeserved to this guy anyday On the airwaves they say things that are cheep From a lying douche Limbaugh who is a big creep Nobel, Nobel, Nobel, Nobel If you don’t like it, you can go to hell! (Can we play “quarters” with it?) Did he deserve […]

Hold onto your hats, then let them fly off as your eyes grow to the size of big saucers then duplicate out of your head making your jaw hit the floor… Marge Simpson made the November cover of Playboy… (Homer’s banging the Girl Next Door) I don’t know how I feel about this yet. It’s […]