Argentina! (This movie sucked. Literally) Turns out Mark Sanford was pulled over for speeding. More accurately, his driver was. The trooper pulling him over asked, “You got a good reason for running 85?” (Quick, hide the weed & blow) The driver responds he’s driving Sanford. The trooper wryly responds, “Not a really good reason to […]

MC Hammer sang, “You Got To Pray”. Then again, he wasn’t in the NFL, had hair gayer then Kid-N-Play, and wore goofy-ass-pants that could house a family of 5… (“Can’t Touche This”, “Don’t Want Too”) An Oakland Raiders cornerback says he was penalized Sunday for making a religious display while celebrating an interception. After a […]

Turns out the Shroud of Turin can be duplicated… (Is he winking at me?) “We have shown that is possible to reproduce something which has the same characteristics as the Shroud,” Luigi Garlaschelli, who is due to illustrate the results at a conference on the para-normal this weekend in northern Italy, said on Monday. Uh […]

To bring 2068 Olympic Games to Chicago! He’ll totally do it too… (Son of bitch) Because he can sooth souls, fly, and shoot laser’s from his nipples! Meh, fair enough promise, but he’ll most likely be dead by then, so no one can hold him accountable. Besides, let’s say he’s still alive, he’ll have dementia […]

It’s hot! It’s smooth! It’s George Hamiltonriffic!   (Separated at birth?) Is it “Tan In A Can”? No way Stan! Blame it on a Rio man… (Classy!) I guess he’s become Stewie Griffin’s “Tanning Man”… (Oil it up my man!) We all know the banana hammock grape smuggler comes next… *shudder* Have a day!

Most of the time, we don’t have the $… (You try to take my $, I slap you) In Letterman’s case he did. If you pick comedians to extort, whatever you’re blackmailing us for, we’ll blurt out whatever you’re holding over our heads… We take your power away. Why? Comedians are entertainers first and have […]

It’s just never enough for some people… (It’s getting crowded in there) First it was “Obama’ll take your guns”, then “He wasn’t born in the United States”, then “He wants to abort babies on government funded abortion subways”, then “He’s a Socialist, Marxist, Fascist, Commie, Nazi”(not even realizing they’re opposite political views), then “He wants […]