Poking it’s head out like a thief trying to hide from the cops… (Start this shit already!) It’s like a kid who got a “time out” looking to see if it’s “over” or not… “Steroid Baseball” needs badly to be forgiven… (Snoopy’s fucking ripped) It’ll be like everything in life, if you’re truly sorry, apologize, […]

My question is how do you “come out” of something you were never “in”? (Who works out in a speedo?) Finding out Ricky Martin is gay is like finding out Sara Palin is a couple clowns short of a full circus. It’s like figuring out ice cream is cold, fire is hot, and farts smell… […]

Police charged a Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a opossum along a highway…that’d been dead a long time… (Do it, kiss it!) State police Trooper Jamie Levier says witnesses saw 55-year-old Donald Wolfe, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday, about 65 miles northeast of Pittsburgh. Is that “Drunken […]

What do you do when your friend passes out on the street? (Drunk body chalk outline) Naturally… Have a day!

With all the Tea Bagger anger, threats, bricks and insanity… Let’s take things down a notch by having a “National Crunk Off”… (Is that like Booty Sweat?) Cut loose, footloose, kick off your bigot shoes… Besides, Tea Baggers would look dandy in their 1700’s wear while crunking their muther fuckin’ asses off to fresh beats. […]

That’s right, the new Disney singing sensation Justin Bieber is actually an international drug cartel lord who goes by the name “El Narco Diablo Facepuncher” (Holy shit El Narco!) He’s killed 300 men, pushed 5 million killos a month in parovian marching power, and can knock an apple off a guys head over 50 feet […]

Death threats, cut gas lines, and vandalism oh my! What a huge pile of douche these people are. They’re bullies, thugs, intellectual light weights with no rational handle on facts, reasonable discourse, or reality… (Tea Baggers are now Cobra Kai) Wow, these must be the “Real Americans” Beck, Palin, O’Reilly, & Hannity talk about all […]

A new study says that 66% of GOP Republicans think Obama is a “Socialist” (He’s holding a sign. It must be true!) While 57% think he’s “Muslim”, and 24% say he may be “The Antichrist”… Oh, and 79% think he’s a “Robot Cat Overlord named Mittens”… “Sent from the planet Disco Fuck to enact his […]

Vs. Freebasing Cocaine from a rusty spoon? You decide! (Seems fun, but could hurt my back) Hurm, have to really think about it now that I have affordable healthcare in 3 years (Seems fun, but could burn myself) Bowling has the knocking down pins part I like, but coke has the drugs part… Tough call… […]

They caught the turd in the punchbowl Walmart intercom douche! (File photo of him as a child) He was 16 year old racist bigot kid, not an employee. He did it as a “joke”… How hilarious! I’m putting up a huge billboard stating the kids mother is an “STD Crack Whore Who Gets More Trains […]