Oh, he’s good… (I didn’t do nuthing) He’s pleading “Not guilty” to lying. Ever known a chronic liar who hasn’t? His former trainer who told of Rogers steroid abuse had/has nothing to gain NOTHING for coming forward to tell the truth Just hell on earth for being a rat, loss of job, and every juicing […]

How do we know? (“Hold me, I’m melting”) Cause Glenn Beck said “I have a big fat mouth sometimes and I say things” How wise. He’s like a loud, goofy, insane, stupid version of Obi Wan Kenobi… (Use the fork!) When asked if he regrets calling Obama a racist he said, “I don’t want to […]

The biggest difference between A “guy running down the street with other people’s stuff in his arms” and a “thief” Is when you get caught (Zing, zwong, zwap) You know its true… Have a day!

That he was an oppressed black man (Shhhh, I’m secretly white) Stuck living in a douchebag lying McCarthyism white guys body… He’s got a rally on the anniversary of Martin Luther Kings “I have a dream” speech Restoring Honor is a “non-political event” to pay tribute to our nation’s “heroes, our heritage and our future”…which […]

I’m shocked. Shocked I tells ya… *Does weak Macaulay Culkin Home Alone face slap, then rolls eyes* By “shocked” I mean “Never surprised by the massive policy hypocrisy of the right” (Could this be any gayer?) That would explain his “Leather Assless Chaps Tickle Fight” fundraiser in 2004 And his “Dude Blowjob Receiving Line” in […]

Shocker! (Team Freedom) What will FOX says about them? Naturally that they’re “turrest cells” Who want to catch “Merican napping” (Team Douchebag) “I lost a 23-year-old son who gave his life saving Americans” a mom said supporting the Islamic center. She then said that it, “has nothing to do with religion. It has to do […]

Poor Tiger… Got to fuck every hot piece of ass in the US, including his hot model wife (I’m sleeping with 400 other women) All while still making zillions of dollars playing an elongated bar game of pool Wait, fuck that guy He’s still lucky as hell, cause now he can do that shit legit […]

Some people are freaking out about a Mosque being built near ground zero (My knee jerk right wing bigots) 1st off, it’s not a mosque, it’s a community center Yes, a tiny place of worship will be offered 2nd, there’s already a Mosque just doors away from ground zero(80 feet)… (Call it Mosque-Donald’s) This one […]

Sure you could try e-harmony, J-date, or Adultfriend finder (This way baby) But for a guy who likes tennis, quesadillas, & long walks on the beach with a penguin It’s a lil’ harder. It’s not like they have a website for that shit…yet Have a day!

Always answering a question nobody asked…incorrectly… (Stay inside the lines) I love when Conservative Tea Tards invoke the 1st amendment It’s hilarious After all, only they get to use it because only they know how to use it Palin thinks Dr. Douchehuts 1st amendment rights were violated? (Wash, rinse, repeat) Her tweet-tard comment on this […]