Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hoooooooooooo… (A “Redneck Swiss Army Gun”) A central Florida dealership trying to drum up business Offers a free AK-47 assault rifle to any potential used truck buyer Bravo car dealership down in Florida! (Yeeeesh) You sure put the “neck” in the red… Faster than a NASCAR fan pulling into a gas-n-glup for beef jerky… […]

Why not the idad? Think about it (Where is the “dad” part?) Great for orphan kids, or for kids who’s genetic dad sucks It’s also good incentive for your normal dads slacking a little (“I upgraded to idad, bitch!”) Cause if he gets out of line, BAM! idad his ass If only Apple could come […]

Boner pill, or penis hat rack? (Or that) You decide… But it might take you a while… Since all the blood your brain should be using, Is now in your penis Come Back Tomorrow Sorry, had a big audition with Chicago’s largest casting director So I’m late, unfunny, & sad… Sort of like everything Carlos […]

Writers are important… (Clearly, you did this shit) With her, we could have just cut things off at “Doesn’t think”… Actually, she said this, “Good actors never use the script unless it’s amazing writing. All the good actors I’ve worked with, they all say whatever they want to say” She went on to add, “Because […]

Didn’t know he was “Un-instated”… Keith Oldermann was suspended from MSNBC “indefinitely” Then getting Reinstated back on Tuesday… (“Well hello X-mas hair!”) He was punished for giving campaign $ to Democratic candidates It goes against their internal policy of being unbiased “News” reporters They rightly say it’s a conflict of interest, and MSNBC doesn’t tolerate […]

A loud, drunk, violent coked up Charlie Sheen impersonator… (looks a little like him) Suddenly appears at your party Then on closer inspection, it’s actually Charlie Sheen… (Three tabs of acid at once?) Leaving Gary Buesy pissed & looking for a new “even crazier” image (“Live in my mouth!”) Do a week long alcohol & […]

An insane law not allowing toys in “unhealthy” Happy Meals… (No more Leia sausage fingers!) Way to go Mayor McCheese! (“I’m from the T-Party”) Looking to screw over fat kids… The law requires kids’ meals meet nutritional standards before sold with toys Ahhh yes, unlike all the other really bad shit we constantly give them? […]

You got a few America! (Yey, it’s spelled correctly) Republicans took back the house for Mid-terms, and Dems narrowly kept the Senate Bravo America! Voting for fear, anger, policy ignorance, and bigotry Always beat rational sanity It’s like poker for morons, where suddenly 2 three’s beats a full house… (Oxburger: “Go on, bluff me!”) Fans […]

It’s that time of year… (Vote schomote) When adults use high school names for the “write-in candidate name” I can see tomorrows headline now: “Haywood Jablome Wins In Landslide”… We also have Mike Hunt, Allota Fagina, Hugh Jass, Dick Head, or Oliver Clothesoff (Simpson’s reference) Just do it, voting is sexy. And it’s cooler than […]

Naaaaaaaw, I kid, I joke…it was actually a sign I saw there It was a normal sunny Saturday, in a normal city… Filled with pretty “normal” people (Kid stayed home…by himself) Except the guy we caught fucking a mailbox… It was Charlie Sheen, and Sonja asked for an autograph He ignored her, did a rail, […]