Everybody lifts a pen here and there (Nice font) You go to the bank, or you borrow one from a friend Shit, like casual sex and occasional weight gain, it just happens… Now let’s say you’re the president of a country and do it Guess fuck all hell breaks lose Czech Republic President Vaclav Klaus […]

The actual nails to Jesus’s cross… (Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight) Really? No, fucking reeeeeeeeeeallly What not claim you have the biggest penis in the world on film… (True) It’s so big, farmers mistake it for a grain silo and try to put corn in it It’s so big, you can block all traffic in the Holland Tunnel It’s […]

Fucking lay off Japan already will ya… (Really Mother Nature?) 1st a crippling tsunami, now a massive earth quake? Who pissed in your coffee lady? You’re clearly overworked, and stressed Or have menopause. It’s too hot, it’s too cold, it’s too hot, it’s too cold (Stop with the pranks) Take a break you crazy old […]

Burps that decided to take the back door (Oh, that too) Think about it. For true… If You Don’t Get Your Way, Burn The Village Ah yes, Republicans want a Government shut down…again It doesn’t have to be old to be a classic… (No shit) They did in 1995-96. They’re as predictable as a fucking […]

Glenn Beck is done. He and FOX have parted ways… (It’s spelled right) The show got dropped like an F bomb at Def Comedy jam It got dropped like names at an LA night club Dropped like pants at a log cabin post prom There has officially been a “Beckoning” (He takes baths?) FOX News […]

You’ve seen them at malls, on trains, sitting across from you at lunch Happy to maybe pet them, but afraid they might bite you… A squirrels nest on someone’s head To the trained “toupee du jour” eye, it’s easy. But can you tell the difference? (#1, toup, or hair it is?) (#2, toup, or hair […]

“Meh, you could do worse” *Shrugs shoulders* 2008 Obama: (“I’m gonna tap that ass”) Meets 2011 Obama: (Podium, finger, but gray hair) When you promise a ton of stuff, then don’t deliver on some of it… People tend to remember that shit… Healthcare=Meh, we got something, but not Universal or single payer Wall Street Reform=Not […]

And a hooker, is that the hooker can actually do their “job” While one “sucks”…the other just “blows” Zing! Zong! Zwop! Odd, I didn’t notice this at 1st… (The truth huts) While Charlie tries “play acting” at being a live entertainer The rest of us who do this for a fucking living, are laughing As […]

Oh, it’s on like a light switch… (Rock in roll!) Buehrle is on the mound again, so let’s light this candle For gods sake just don’t get rocked off the mound Mark If you see any part of the White Sox bullpen in the 3rd Shut off the game, refill your beer, and take a […]