Sure it sucks being out of job today, but things could be worse…
(Ugh, “Axe” works my ass)
You could be a(n):
-Attack dog subject
-Faulty Parachute tester
-Little League coach
-Porcupine Hugger
-Replica Globe Continent title maker while getting straight D’s in Geography
-In Tank Deadly Shark Petter
-Facial bear trap tester
-Baby Juggler
-Crash Test Dummy
-4th grade teacher
-Live alligator dentist with no anesthetic
Thank your lucky stars!
Jack Ryan’s Younger Brother Paul…
Want’s you to know: Medicare is bad! Spending is bad! Government is bad!
(But I printed stuff out at Kinko’s!)
Wait a second, how does this guy earn a living again?
Oh, right, he’s Wisconsin’s Republican House representative
On a GOVERNMENT SALARY
(“Tune In Tokyo”)
Yes, my irony meter also exploded
But wait. What is his solution to our problems?
Oh, “vouchers”. OK, that makes sense
For doctors who already don’t take Medicare patients
*Disney record scratch*
Wait, what? No, you can’t just kick the can down the road
(“Say what?”)
Then when older people get sick, their fucked
Republican’s mantra: “Screw em. It’s not me, so not my problem”
Clerk Quits Over Gay Marriage Licenses
A town clerk in New York has resigned. Why?
Didn’t you read the title, or were you “skimming” again?
To avoid being “forced” to sign marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples
You see, she has religious objections to same-sex marriage. From her letter to quit:
(Laura Fotusky, the quitter)
“I believe that there is a higher law than the law of the land
It is the law of God in the Bible.”
Oh, I see. This is fun, can I play?
Um, my 5 year old son has “Religious Objections” to “nap-time”
Bible says “A man/boy shall not lie down with a women until wed”
Little Jason is only 2 inches from Becky Tattler’s head. Violation!
(It happened!)
It must be “fun” picking and choosing which laws you like or not
You know, since “god’s” got your back
Inside Nerd Joke: In other news
Ptolemy recently quit astronomy citing the sun moves around the earth
Copernicus & Galileo took his job right away
Have a day!
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