Pie to the face! We have a pie attempt to the face!

(The ol’ shaving cream pie)

The pie-throwing attacker is a comedian who calls himself Jonnie Marbles

For serious? No, really? A “British mobster comedian” with a pie?

I expected something  a bit more “mobby”. A clown named “Mr. Jingles” uses a pie

As Jonnie went towards him, the old FOX octogenarian said, “Goody, lunch!”

(Separated at birth?)

British Parliament is grilling him like George Foreman does burgers

What did he say? What every guilty lying prick on the planet does

Lawmaker, “Do you accept that ultimately you are responsible for this whole fiasco?”

(“Ha ha ha, I drink your milkshake”)

Rupert Murdoch simply responded: “No”

Your entire business model is lies, ignorance, and hacking so his answer makes sense

To close the entire hearing Grandpa “Wha Happen” said this:

(“Am I in trouble?”)

“James(his son) and I would like to say how sorry we are for what has happened
– especially with regard to listening to the voicemail of victims of crime.”

You’re not sorry it happened, you’re sorry you were caught. Big difference

Tom Coburn Has An Idea

With all the debt ceiling hell apocalypse heating up before the August 2nd deadline

Tom wants to cut our deficit by 9 trillion. You read it right

(More like “Smoking crack”)

He does address 1 trillion in getting rid of tax cuts for the wealthy. Bravo

Also cutting another trillion over 10 years in Pentagon cost. Bravo

Guess if you can tell what the other 7 trillion he is cutting?

Raising the retirement age to 70 for SS, and Medicare to 67

And cut some well deserved benefits from soldiers. No, no, no, no

(Come on!)

But Tea Party nut Grover Norquist thinks “Read my facial hair, no taxes ever!”

He got Republicans in the House to SIGN A PLEDGE to never raise taxes

His website names 41 senators, 236 House members and 1,263 state legislators

(He’d like to “drown” government)

Sesame street called, never name an actual child Grover

If you ever wish to easily dismiss Grover, simply state this:

“Ahem, you claim taxes can never be raised on our job creators

But then where are all the jobs they created?”

A man claims: “You can’t do X(end tax cuts), since it will cause Y(Less jobs)”

(Wrong Grover)

Y(Less jobs) already happened. He’s saying that “R”(Tax cuts) will equal “T”(Jobs)

We ALREADY HAVE “R”(Tax cuts) in place today fartwhistle, SHOW ME “T”(Jobs)

Sack Of Shit Summer

It’s not the “Summer of love”, an “Endless Summer”, or even

The “Summer Of George”

(Dammit!)

It’s a record breaking hot summer, we have debts issues

Our woman’s soccer team lost, NFL is on hold, and all baseball teams suck

Unless you’re Boston, NY, Texas, Philly, or San Fran

I never looked forward to fall this much in my entire life

Have a day!