Remember what I told you about Chris Christie? When he sounded “rational” a while back about Shira Law (Hey fuckstick, shutta your face) I said he was doing the pro-wrestling “heel face turn” Well, right on que he’s dipping his big ass toe in the water for 2012 With hurricane Irene coming he had a […]

The biggest difference between A “guy running down the street with stuff in his arms” and a “thief” Is when you get caught (Zing, zwong, zwap) You know its true… Phrases I’d Like You To Use Today At some point. Heck, any point when you can get away with it Inject them and give it […]

Hurricane Irene was “gods” message to Washington (Oh for fucks sakes lady) Which is odd because the Bunkers in Ohio told there son Todd Irene was because he didn’t feed Mr. Pickles, & jerks off too much Now I’m confused. How many different reasons did “god” give for this? Michelle said: “Washington, D.C., you’d think […]

I swear (well she means), at this moment she’ll destroy everything By blowing away my address my thoughts I confess verge on dirty Go Toora Loora Toora Loo-Blow-Us-All-Away (They can’t afford t-shirts?) Apologies to Dexy’s Midnight Runners Hurricane Irene is coming fast so batten down the snatches… Women named hurricanes are worse than male, mostly […]

“Chug This Glass Of Sh#t”. Soon to be followed by: (Wrong FOX) -“Plane Full Of Whores” -“Pants Filled With Scorpions” -“Kick Your Cheating Spouse In The Crotch” And “Hell’s Kitchen” Reality TV should be taken to a place where creepy angry drifters hang out (Oh, it’s real) Then take away their phone & money, and […]

Someone gets a pie to the puss… And when someone says something super serious, wait a beat Then their pants fall to the ground with no undies on (Circle is the “attention zone”) But in politics, nothing is funnier and sadder at the same time Than the collection of people in today’s Tea Party It’s […]

It’s really all in the title, but I guess you need convincing… (No unicorns?) -Because you can’t fuck points -You can’t cuddle a “win” -When’s the last QB break out game blown you? -No one ever really “loses” in sex -No one talks shit when you’re not doing well (How about “I suck”?) But, now […]

My new wealthy billionaire Capitalist hero is Warren Buffett He thinks the wealthy have been “coddled too long” (Is a monocle underneath?) He wrote an op-ed saying “Enough! It’s time we pay our fair share” The entire Op-Ed is right here and is a great read Cue the seconds until FOX news attacks him? In […]

What? Well she is, just look at her (Lil’ Miss Snuggles) Why are looking at me like that? What did you think I meant? Ohhhhhhh come on now! Get your sick twisted mind out of the gutter… BTW I did mean that, just used the wrong photo Cereals You Had As A Kid We all […]

-A pregnant mom carrying triplets one week before delivery -A sexual predator with a victim in his unmarked white van -Your 6th grade teacher after a night of binge drinking -A truck driver after a sleepless week up on pep pills -A loan officer when you back date your payments a month earlier -A TSA […]