It’s that time of year where every girl dresses up sexy (My batpants got tighter) As a sexy firefighter, or sexy nurse, or sexy cop But here are a few costumes you won’t see “sexyized”: (Us as Like & Unlike buttons) “Sexy IRS auditor”, “Sexy STD”, & “Sexy Septic Tank Cleaner” Hot Harassment In 30 […]

In Oakland CA, 100 people went back to claim their protest area Cops tear-gassed them by firing it into a crowd of over 100 protesters (Is that Iraq?) The protesters were marching to City Hall to reclaim the camp That they’d been evicted from by police early Tuesday morning When I saw the footage, it […]

Joe Liberman & John “Insane” McCain don’t want to leave Iraq Why? They’re having such a good time it’s like a buddy frat film (Is this Las Vegas?) Called “The Hangunder”. It’s about their sagging war balls drooping Their Iraq tan lines look fearsly awesome on their liver spotted skin And don’t even get me […]

But please don’t be one of those people Who dresses up their dog for Halloween (My dignity, why?) If you ignore me & do, promise you won’t get angry (An Unhappy Meal) When they take a huge dump in your shoe Payback’s a bitch When Sinking In The Polls, It’s “Birther Time” Rick Perry is […]

The war with Iraq will end for the US on December 31st, 2011 (Nurse, need condoms stat) We’ll be ending our occupation there, so they’re coming home And right now, the right wing GOP Tea Party has some opinions: Let’s see what John McCain had to say about the big news (Oh for shits sake) […]

They didn’t like the term “wall”. It’s too negative & restrictive I kid, I joke, we laugh, it’s fun…wait a second, you smell that? (You don’t say?) SQUIRREL! It’s a joke my best half & I have whenever out in public And we smell a face full of weed. We look at each other & […]

Our work in Libya with NATO & our excellent allies was good We aided Libyan people continue their freedom quest they started (We are free!) They did it, but our allies & us seemed to scratch a big name out No banners, no landing on a carrier, no parade; just hard work But to hear […]

You don’t celebrate the death of anyone, let alone douche dictators (Bad Michael Jackson impression) But honestly, it feels pretty awesome for freedom across the world Libya’s free! I did say Libya right? Sometimes I confuse that with labia Honest mistake…for coked up guys watching 10 hours of porn a day “We have been waiting […]

Headline “Romney And Perry Go AT It In Vegas” sounds like gay porn (“I’m pitcher, OK?”) Wow, this is getting really really really funny now… It’s like seeing playground kids in suits with cool lights insult each other Hoping one gets nominated, then gets crushed like can in the general (“I’ll kung-fu chop u all”) […]

A coked up trust fun club kid named “Bizzy B”? How many times can your “mean stuttering debutante” come out? (They don’t?) This has to be a new insane record debates number of some sorts *Looks through a stack of papers at the facts* Oh, I’m totally wrong. The 2007-08 Democratic one’s they had 26 […]