OWS protests were all over the globe this past weekend (Crowd surfing) They want Wall Street, banks, & all political campaign $ to be regulated But what’s wrong with that you might ask? Well, for one thing chronic lying cheaters don’t like to have their tools taken (Ah, the ol’ Exxon flag) OWS was renamed […]

Welp, there goes your Wrestling crowd vote buddy (You love my sexy boa, no?) Then again, I’m assuming the entire Tea Party is their base audience It’s sort of like losing your ex-wifes love & support. Not very shocking He said on FOX & Friends “I was a big Obama supporter and kinda, (How’s that […]

Wow, so sorry to the 80’s band Flock Of Seagulls For most, you’re probably like “Who the hell are they?” (Light socket hair) They sang a song called “I ran” shot in a spinning tin foil room It’s not important, what is: Iran acting like barbaric dickbags as usual In an alleged plot to assassinate […]

Shit sakes, are they having them daily now? Whatever… (Wrong, it’s 1 every hour) One is even scheduled in your backyard right now And it’s beginning in 3…2…1…whoops, already started 15 minutes ago Lowlights: Perry & Cain are sliding down faster than… -a shot of Baily’s -making out teens a car being approached by a […]

The season already freaking started… (He’ll be dead by week 6) It’s almost like they’re still lying on their couches playing PS3 They do know when they’re dressed up in full gear it’s an actual game right? My guess is no. I’m calling it right now on October 11th at 2pm CST *Take the paw […]

Eric Cantor thinks the Occupy Wall Street protests are “Mobs” (He’s good) He said, “If they were demonstrating peacefully…& making a point, & arguing our case, & drawing attention to the Fed–I would say, good!” Oh, I see how this works. Tea Party people protesting is ‘Merican (Clearly American) But when other citizens protest unregulated […]

Will she run, won’t she run, can she run, should she run, run Forest run? (Weeeeeeeee) All questions asked, but Moose Knuckle Stew never answered Until now. She won’t. Much like all crazy insane evil circus’s The music stops, tents get packed up, people move on, & it ends (So long suckers) I predict seeing […]

Think about this for a moment. If it wasn’t for Steve Jobs (Don’t recall their brand of juice) No one could’ve found love, sexted, & broke up in a half-ass way Without the help of his magical devices Oh yeah, and might I also add “Fuck you Cancer” (Good point) You’re like the one guy […]

Turns out Accuweather thinks this winter will be Chicago’s worst yet “People in Chicago are going to want to move after this winter” (Remember this gem? We do) No shit captain obvious. That’s like you guys saying “Nevada, brace yourself for very hot summer temperatures!” (Thank you) Oh trust me, we remember when a blizzard […]

Tea Party guy Hank Williams Jr. appeared on “Fox & Friends” Monday He was asked “Who do you like?” for his Republican presidential pick (Jazz hands) He said “Nobody”, then unprovoked quickly pivots to Obama It’s honestly one of the most weird, uncomfortable clips I’ve ever seen It looks like a guy either high as […]