At the CNN Republican debate last night, Newty threw a fit

Nothing funnier than when a humongous dick gets offended

(“Now I suck your soul”)

It’s like when a serial killer gets upset being cut-off in traffic:

“Come on! Where’s your compassion for your fellow driver?”

He blew up at CNN’s John King for asking a question about

(Distorted reality)

His 2nd wife saying he cheated & wanted an “open marriage”

Sure, he could accept his mistakes, reality, & facts; or do this:

“The destructive, vicious, negative nature of much of the news
media makes it harder to govern this country, harder to attract
decent people to run for public office…And I am appalled that
you would begin a presidential debate on a topic like that”

Then Potato Head said: “Let me be quite clear, the story’s false”

(No frame?)

His ex-wife replied after hearing it with, “My story is the truth”

In fairness, of course he did it, and it’s politically devastating

Therefore, “How dare you ask about specific documented flaws

(Only “sometimes”?)

In my character that show disgusting levels of hypocrisy sir!”

*Cue Circus music*

It’s like a married guy fucking another woman. His wife walks

(Bravo, douche)

In & catches him. Then he gets angry & yells, “How dare you

Keep looking at us. Your damn eyes are ruining our marriage!”

Let’s hold on tight America, because here comes the clown car

Have a weekend!