Have you ever been to where the earth stops spinnin’ on its

axis, children all look like “hipsters”, & the former carpenter

Jesus looks confused by the directions? Yes…you’re in IKEA

(true)

Putting these things together is a task, only to realize they’ll

be coming apart or broken in 3-4 years when you move. It’s

really something…something without decent direction, free

back spasms, & meat balls made out of a horse. And the big

stocked shelves back in the warehouse are harder to find….

(it’s funny AND true)

than an honest congressman. You’d have better luck taking

a shit in the exact shape of Adele before finding what you’re

actually looking for. I could breast feed a baby sooner than

it for shits sake. Meh, now that building this holy mess and

terror of a closet is over, I’m not going back. I will say this:

(simple…honest)

It’s funny because it’s true. After all, everything sort of is…

I’m back baby, but it’s snowing harder the Swiss Alps here

Tomorrow: White House tours ended from sequester cuts

Have a day!