Here is a “nice, neat, list” of things “Not to do today”:

(That’s one)

-Fart in your hand, then demand a co-worker, “Smell this”
-Forget to wear clothes, then start searching for your wallet
-Go to your MLB baseball teams game, but they’re on the road
-Watch a Bob Roarman car commercial & take it seriously
-Punch the mailman yelling, “You stole all my porn mags”
-Start humping a mailbox, then finish in the front flap door

Just some friendly advice. Now don’t get in any fights

Have a weekend!