Hey, welcome back from the big holiday weekend. Show me your hands

Oooops, somebody tried to light some short wicks and lost some digits

(Smooth move dumbass)

While you were gone some farthats decided to “hack” FOX news Twitter account

And state, “Obama had been assassinated”, and “Obama is dead”

(What bags-o-douche)

Classy. Since FOX is never accurate, it’s audience couldn’t tell the difference

Almost every normal news viewer knew it wasn’t true

FOX clearly has nothing to do with the ignorance, lies, and hate in the posts

(“Everyone’s stupid but me!”)

But what’s their excuse for the other 364 days of the year?

For being “hacked”, it stayed up there for 10 hours

I know another person who said they were “hacked”

(“Nt gud time now, wife luking”)

And we all remember how that turned out

Pssssssssssssssst the password is “Hate”

(We’d also accept “Ignorant”)

We Got A Hole In The Debt Ceiling

Democrats: We still have to pay for certain government programs and policy

Republicans: Fuck you, all spending bad, all spending bad, all spending bad

(“You suck, let’s destroy stuff!”)

Democrats: You spent like crazy while in power, and is why we’re here

Out of power, you say stop. If we’re to compromise, offer something in return

Republican: No, the way we compromise is taking the shit you like off the table

Leaving only shit we like. Fuck you, all spending bad, unless it’s shit we like

(“Burn it all!”)

Democrats: Tax cuts for the top 3% is a form of “spending”

It’s massive $ the government could be taking in to help our debt that it’s not

Republicans: No, fuck you, it’s not spending, it’s MY money asshole

“Spending” is for the shit poor people need. For the wealthy it’s an investment

(“Me breaky things”)

We all get it, we understand the game. Democrats need to make a decision

The child screams insane shit to get it’s way in the face of this decision

The position of parents in the room gets watered down so much

(Now we don’t even agree)

Because republicans are loud rich douchey kids trying to get their way

And Democrats are the bad caving weak pussy parents letting them

It’s silly, sad, and hurts us all…

Have a day!