The 44th president of the United States said his staff was not involved in discussing deals for his Senate seat with disgraced Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich…

(It’s +4 against fire attacks & orcs)

He received the staff from Gandalf The White after doing a 4,000 Gold pieces per plate fund raiser in middle earth during the primaries…

His staff had no contact with Blagojevich, so it was cleared of charges…

However, other reports did confirm Rod had a meeting with this staff…

(It’s -7 against bribery & -9 against extortion)

So the staff of Saruman is still a “subject of interest” for the FBI…

Garden Statues Becoming Abusive

With rising panic due to war, a crippled economy, and general uncertainty of the future, peaceful garden cherubs have turned to violence…

(Lunch money bitch!)

Steve Grubberman of Littleprick, Wyoming was attacked in his own back yard while playing Aerobie discâ„¢ with his non-gay friend Doug Perkins…

Steve said, “I was just playing catch with my non-gay friend Doug when I pretended like the disc was a halo on the head of my cherub statue in the back yard. Next think I know, my statue is on top of me like a sleek agile puma, yelling obscenities, and lighting my face up like a pin-ball machine”. Grubberman suffered two black eyes, a split lip, and a broken collar bone. Clearly distraught he added, “Shit man, I won’t even go in the back yard anymore”.

His non-gay friend Doug had no comment…

Worst Name On The Planet

Parents need to think before picking a name…

(Ouch!)

Go Bears, and go have a day!