During five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret recipe for fried chicken, sources learned it was accidentally leaked…

(A new Inigo Montoya is born)

KFC president Rodger Eaton was visibly upset when one of his employee’s said they leaked the secret which is kept in a safe on a single sheet of yellowing paper…

Thick concrete blocks encapsulate the vault, and the safe is protected by an array of high-tech security gadgets, including motion detectors and cameras that allow guards to monitor the vault around the clock. However, they decided to use the exact same security team as Entrapment, with similar results…

(The working title was Encrapment)

You think they would have seen it coming…

“It’s nerve wracking. We’ve held the secret for decades, and now some bone head let it out.” said Eaton. He went on to say, “Shit nuggets, I don’t even know the recipe”…

Insiders say the yellowish sheet contained only one word…

(Grease is the word)

People were just as shocked to learn farts make bubbles underwater, Jesus is really just an auto mechanic in Palo Alto California, and A-Rod cheated…

It’s Good To See…

Another couple with the last name Brown can continue the unhealthy, physically abusive relationships we’re all so used to…

(It looks like a prom photo)

They’ve got big shoes to fill. They haven’t gotten into heavy drug use yet. It’s only a matter of time before TMZ has footage of him doing booger sugar off a Rhino’s ass in the zoo while firing a pistol in the air. There’s time kids, there’s always time…

(It’s Mr. Happy-time)

Domestic abuse is nothing to joke about. It’s horrible. If any woman is being abused, leave! And if your gal doesn’t agree with you about this, paste her one good…

I was getting worried for a while that no one would take the Ike-n-Tina Bobby-n-Whitney Memorial Torch. Wheeeeeew…

Sign Seen

(Next door is Taint’s Tattoo’s)

I think I’ve been there before. They have Monkey Knife Fight Tuesdays…

Have a day!