The Kal Penn Obama phone call sketch was about as funny as their 3-D
(“I’m this high”)
X-mas movie. *moves hand to the side of mouth* never actually saw it
Here are some new slogan’s for the DNC to replace the old Yes We Can:
-Ready To Win
-We Got Ideas
-I’m Back Baby
-We’re Not Racist
-Him or Me
-Don’t Lose Hope
-Ready To Rock
-Let’s Move Forward
-Paper Or Plastic
-Call Me Maybe
-Don’t Touch Me
Meh, last few might of gotten away from me just a bit. Sorry about that
Then Newark’s mayor Cory Booker was on fire. Literally, he was trying
to mimic the Hunger Games Katniss. Nooooooo, I kid. I joke. I suck. He
looked out at the audience, & then directly connected to them by saying:
(“Fair is fair”)
“Please listen to this because, when your country is in a costly war with
our soldiers sacrificing abroad, & our nation facing a debt crisis at home,
being asked to pay your fair share ISN’T class warfare, it’s patriotism”
He glowed with pride on all the planks of the DNC platform. RNC didn’t
mention theirs, mostly because it’s batshitcrazy bringing us back to 1720
But wait, isn’t this the same Corey Booker who ripped Obama’s campaign
on Mitts Bain record as “nauseating”? What a difference a summer makes
Then Fidel Castro’s love child Julian spoke. I kid, I joke. It’s San Antonio’s
(“Check me out bitches”)
mayor Julian Castro. He was mucho gusto. He said: “Mitt Romney, quite
simply, doesn’t get it”. But he didn’t just leave it there. He then gave some
specifics & he continued on to paint all the stark difference in the policies:
“We know that in our free market economy some will prosper more
than others. What we don’t accept is the idea that some folks won’t
even get a chance, & the thing is, Mitt Romney and the Republican
Party are perfectly comfortable with that America. I don’t think Gov.
Romney meant any harm. I think he’s a good guy. He just has no idea
how good he’s had it. My families story isn’t special. No matter who
you are or where you come from, the path is always forward”
Then it was finally on to the main speaker. A big cheese. The “real” POTUS
Michelle totally connected like a power hitter with a fastball down the pipe
(“Oh, hi”)
She was herself. Likable, honest, accessible, moving, candid, specific policy
wise, and open about what Barrack will do with a second term. She talked
about how we’re all in this together. We all come from humble beginnings
Ann Romney’s not those things, but genuinely seems like a real nice person
The key thing here is that Democrats have something to run on. The GOP,
doesn’t. They ran on N-O-T-H-I-N-G their entire convention. Just think
(“Thank you”)
about that. Do you remember a single policy stated at the podium? I can’t
It was “Odummer has ruined Merica”, “Obama sucks dick”, & “Fuck Him”
Not, “he tried, but we believe if you do these specific things it’ll make the
economy way better”. No, not 1 specific policy, or idea presented. Not one
Just lofty platitudes, with no economic policy aside from Tax cuts for the
top 3%, deregulation, & somehow magically increase all defense spending
On day one Lilly Ledbetter spoke about the Fair Pay Act that passed in her
(“4 more years”)
name, Julian Castro talked about the Dream Act, and Corey Booker spoke
directly to all the planks in all the platform policies. This isn’t even close
The bottom line here: one party, with a record, & ideas to keep improving
is offering us their vision of the future with their plan. The other party is
saying, “No, he’s evil, divisive & failed, so let’s move on”. Ok, TO WHAT?
(“Meh, I don’t know”)
What is your fucking PLAN THEN? They don’t have one. It’s all to regain
power for the top 3% to give a bigger tax break, nothing more. But if they
run on that, who would vote for them? Well, sadly from the Tea Party we
still have a loooooooooooooooong way to go in fixing our moron problem
Do you want to know what this election is about? Listen to a Republican
(Uh oh)
Lindsay Graham talk about the current GOP’s voting base: “We are not
generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term”
BTW-an MSNBC “pundit” is named Krystal Ball; was Tit Cockers taken?
Tonight it’s all Bill Bubba Lova. Is it porn if a Slick Willie takes the stage?
Have a day!
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